Tuesday, November 4, 2008

trying to focus on the GOOD things in life...

I woke up sad today. I don't really know why. I got a full 8 hours of sleep, and for the most part, I've been fairly content lately.
I woke up thinking about my Dada. Today marks the 2nd anniversary of his death. I won't go into detail about him. I've blogged about him several times and those of you who know me know how close I was to him and how difficult his death was for me. I still think about him daily and miss him more than I ever imagined.
Dada lived a great life and he passed away peacefully. That's a very comforting reminder to me.

This picture was taken 2 summers ago right after Heather's wedding, only a few months before he died. I was so proud that he was able to attend the wedding. I love this picture. I will always treasure every day I had with him.

My heart just hurts today. My loneliness is kicking in extra for some reason. Sometimes I'm ok being alone. Other times, like today, I long for a companion. I wonder if and when my time will come. I get mad at myself for feeling this way though. I have a fantastic life. I really do. I love my job. I love this town. I love my family. I love my friends. Why is it sometimes harder to focus on the GOOD things in life rather than totally focusing on the not-so-great things? This is November, the month of Thanksgiving. I pray that I will focus on the many things I am thankful for instead of being sad about what I don't have. It's just so hard.

I absolutely do not want sympathy. Trust me...I know there are worse things in life. I would love your prayers though. I need strength today. I need patience. I need understanding.

Thank you friends.

8 comments:

Unknown said...

he is the cutest dada in all the land.
i miss him.

Anisa said...

sending you a big hug today!

Katie Walden said...

I hear you LT. I was talking to someone today about my Papaw and then I got a little sad. It makes me sad that probably none of my grandparents will be able to attend my wedding, if that ever happens. I often feel lonely too and get mad at myself for feeling that way. I know that there is a reason that I'm still single, and it's because of God's timing. But I also get mad at my job because it takes up so much of my time that I could be using to get to know new people. I just have to remember that with no strings attached right now, God can use me more now and in a more efficient way to accomplish his will for this world.

Anonymous said...

hey - you don't know me but i read your blog often. hang in there. i feel like i'm in the same place in my life and i know how hard it is - i wake up feeling the same way many days. but i try to have faith and be patient, knowing that one day I will find that special someone to share my life with...

Melanie said...

Grandparents are a really special people, aren't they? I just lost my 91 year old Granddaddy a little over a week ago. I pray that you will focus on the good memories you had with dada! Praying for you to be stong today and that you will feel God's arms wrapped around you;)

Anonymous said...

YOU are one of the BEST friends that I have EVER had! You are an AMAZING person and have SOOOO much to offer! PLEASE hang in there... Your time to SHING will come, and I will be standing right by your side when it happens! You are so strong and have a great faith! You have come too far to give up hope! You have A TON of people pulling for you! LUV U LOTS!!! HEGS :)

Anonymous said...

Um... I meant to say SHINE not SHING! HAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

Chelle said...

saying prayers for you...those sad days make it hard sometimes, but youir faith will keep you strong!