Monday, April 12, 2010

waiting.

While I am a blogger and you do know quite a lot about my life, I actually do refrain from sharing too much. Obviously not all things were meant to be shared with the world, plus, do you honestly want to know every little thing about my life? I didn't think so.
Forgive me just for tonight, though, as I'm going to get a little more personal with you than normal. I'm a little blue and I think "getting it out" might help a little.
I know we all go through waiting periods in our lives....who doesn't, right?
I have been in a very hard place in my life for the past several years. When I pray about certain things, or ask God certain questions, God's often response is, "wait."
I've reached a point where waiting on the next step in my life has become so difficult, that it hurts, almost to the point where it's unbearable. The desires that I have had in my heart for as long as I can remember aren't being fulfilled as I dreamed they would. I see others living out my dreams while I sit back and watch with a smile on my face, but a deep hurt in my heart, selfishly wanting what I don't have. I spend a lot of time praying about this and I know God hears my cries.
I'm going to share a poem with you that I'm pretty sure I've posted before. I read it several times today, and find that it provides encouragement. I also need a reminder that GOD makes my plans, not me.
Maybe you're in the midst of waiting on something from God and it can provide some encouragement to you, too.
Wait
Desperately, helplessly,
longingly, I cried:
Quietly, patiently, lovingly,
God replied.
I plead and I wept
for a clue to my fate,
And the Master so gently said,
“Child, you must wait.”
“Wait? You say, wait!”
my indignant reply.
“Lord, I need answers,
I need to know why!
Is Your hand shortened?
Or have You not heart?
By faith, I have asked,
and am claiming Your Word.”
My future and all
to which I can relate
Hangs in the balance,
and YOU tell me to WAIT?
I’m needing a “Yes”,
a go-ahead sign,
Or even a “No”
to which I can resign.
And Lord, You promised
that if we believe
We need but to ask,
and we shall receive.
And Lord, I’ve been asking,
and this is my cry:
“I’m weary of asking!
I need a reply!”
Then quietly, softly,
I learned of my fate
As my Master replied once again,
“You must wait.”
So, I slumped in my chair,
defeated and taught
And grumbled to God,
“So, I’m waiting … for what?”
He seemed, then, to kneel
And His eyes wept with mine,
And He tenderly said,
“I could give you a sign.”
I could shake the heavens,
and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead
and cause mountains to run.
All you seek, I could give,
and pleased you would be.
You would have what you want~
But, you wouldn’t know Me.
You’d not know the depth
of My love for each saint;
You’d not know the power
I give to the faint;
You’d not learn to see
through the clouds of despair;
You’d not learn to trust
just by knowing I’m there;
You’d not know the joy
of resting in Me;
When darkness and silence
were all you could see.
You’d never experience
that fullness of love
As the peace of My Spirit
descends like a dove;
You’d know that I give and save,
for a start,
But you’d not know the depth
of the beat of My heart.
The glow of My comfort
late into the night,
The faith that I give
when you walk without sight,
The depth that’s beyond
getting just what you asked
Of an infinite God,
who makes what you have last.
You’d never know,
should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that,
“My grace is sufficient for thee.”
Yes, your dreams for your loved one
Overnight would come true,
But, Oh, the Loss!
If I lost what I’m doing in you!
So, be silent, My child,
and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts
is to get to know Me.
And though oft’ may My answers
seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all
is still, “Wait.”
I want to ask you to pray for me tonight. I'm lonely and my heart is heavy. Thank you, dear friends, and please forgive the cheerlessness of this post.
"I am waiting for the Lord, my soul is waiting for Him, and my hope is in His Word." Psalms 130:5

22 comments:

Hillary and Russell Jordan said...

Just wanted you to know you're on my mind and in my prayers tonight!

Christi Brewer said...

Thank you for posting this. You are definitely not the only one who feels this way!! I hope you don't mind me sharing with a few others who I know feel the way we do.

Anonymous said...

So sorry your heart is hurting. I've been there. Have you read "Eat, Pray, Love" yet? It is a great book, and talks about waiting, figuring your place in the world, and being content with the 'you' that you are right now. I recommend it.

Laura McWhirter

Sara Beth Stockton said...

LT- I admire you for sharing this poem as well as your post. You are definitely not the only one who feels this way and I (for one) completely understand where you're coming from in every aspect. I had a friends share this bible verse with me and I keep it posted so that i can look at it daily: It's what we trust in but don't yet see that keeps us going. -II Corinthians 5:7. Love you lots and Hang in there!!

Amy Ingram said...

Isn't it so weird when people you don't know follow your blog?! I know you through people....but I wanted to let you know that I really appreciate your post. I certainly understand this season, and understand being content at times, and being completely lonely at times. Hang in there. I have to believe that just as your post says, the Lord wants us to see his heart and his love over and for us. And that HAS to be worth the wait, and better than anything else. :)

In that boat with you,
Amy

gtown1 said...

Laura...Thanks for your vulnerability and sharing your reality and hurt with us.
Have you heard the song "While I'm Waiting" by John Waller? If not--You Tube it. It really helped me out while waiting on a why for my Dad's cancer and cure and plans for it all. Hope it ministers to your heart today.

Love, Elizabeth Williams (EJ)
:)

jennifer said...

Your post could not have come at a better time. I just broke up with my boyfriend of six years and am devistated. I long to be a mother and wife. I think we may be in the same boat. Thank you for sharing this poem.

Anonymous said...

I am what is called a blog stalker, I read your post and thought she is looking for her soul mate. How do I know that, I just got the feeling that is what is what you were meaning. I am not a weird person, just a mom with a wonderful 28 year old son that I pray will find his soul mate too. By the way he is a MSU grad too. I pray for him and I will pray for you too.

Colby and Daniel said...

Oh Laura, you are such a wonderful person, who deserves everything you want in life. I do understand wanting the things we don't have. I hope the answers to your prayers come soon. Love always, Colby

The Robertsons said...

Love you! Call me if you need to talk.

Kelli said...

Thinking about you tonight and praying for you Laura. I think about you often and wish God would provide the perfect man for you. He has a plan, and I just have to believe He has something very special for you.

Hope said...

Praying for you.

Katy said...

Thinking of you and praying for you too. I know it is hard to wait..and I am in the same boat as you with that. Sometimes it's hard when God's plan is not our plan..I learned that too. Just know that you are touching so many lives from your blog. I needed to hear your words and I loved the poem. Thanks for touching my heart.. Keep being strong. You will find what you are waiting for!

Meghan S said...

I stumbled across your blog, and I found this entry to be so comforting. I know EXACTLY how you feel believe me! I hate that you are struggling with that, but please know you are not alone! I have felt and thought those same things countless times in the last several years. One of the hardest things in life is learning to let go of your expectations and just trust God to work it all out according to His plan. That poem is so inspiring though. Thanks for sharing it!

Meghan Senter

Tassie said...

Thanks for sharing. Waiting is hard. It's difficult to think about what to do until our life starts, but what many people don't realize is that the waiting IS your life. I'm glad you don't waste the waiting. You live life passionately. Praying for you.....

Jared and Brandy Verwiel said...

LT, thank you for sharing your heart. I'm praying for you and your future. My heart is burdened for you...I hate that you feel alone. Take heart and stand firm against the lies of Satan! Tell him to GO TO HELL, where he belongs! You are fearfully and wonderfully made; you are complete in Christ Jesus. Christ is fighting for you! Love you!

Anonymous said...

It's so comforting to see the comments of so many wonderful women who are in the same boat as you...and me! I understand that longing and desire, and the loneliness, which can actually ache. Then I think of all of the beautiful, godly, trusting women in our same position, and it comforts me to know that God has an amazing, beautiful plan for all of our lives. You are not alone, and I will be praying for all of our hearts!

Trace's Space said...

(((((LT)))))) - I just cried reading this and if I knew how to cross stitch, I'd cross stitch that for your wall... and for mine, too. It is so hard to wait. Praying for you.

PS - I hear your nephew is on the way :) :) :)

Blueprint Bliss said...

LT- Love your blog. And just wanted to let you know that I am praying for your sweet self. xo- brooke morgan chamblee

The Quinns said...

Um, are you a second time aunt yet or not??? Heather posted 18 HOURS ago that she was being induced-is he here?? I mean I can understand heather not being able to post quite yet but I expect more from you Laura! If not pictures yet then at least some info!!!

rosajosa said...

Just to offer a word of encouragement...I spent several years WAITING myself. My last couple of years of college and my first years at Sududth were the hardest. Just keep remembering that God DOES have a plan and HIS plan has turned out way better than the ones I was trying to get Him to put into place for me. As hard as it is, enjoy the place where you are RIGHT NOW!!!! I LOVE my life, but theres not a day that goes by that I don't miss the time when I was single and teaching at Sudduth. You are AWESOME!!!! Thanks for being so real!!!!

Anna Little said...

Precious Laura... I'm sad to know you have a heavy heart lately. A Bible study leader I had used to always say, "We serve a God who's rarely early, but never late." It seems late to us, but He knows the perfect time.

Love you and hope God has lifted your sweet spirits :)