waiting.

While I am a blogger and you do know quite a lot about my life, I actually do refrain from sharing too much. Obviously not all things were meant to be shared with the world, plus, do you honestly want to know every little thing about my life? I didn't think so.

Forgive me just for tonight, though, as I'm going to get a little more personal with you than normal. I'm a little blue and I think "getting it out" might help a little.

I know we all go through waiting periods in our lives....who doesn't, right?

I have been in a very hard place in my life for the past several years. When I pray about certain things, or ask God certain questions, God's often response is, "wait."

I've reached a point where waiting on the next step in my life has become so difficult, that it hurts, almost to the point where it's unbearable. The desires that I have had in my heart for as long as I can remember aren't being fulfilled as I dreamed they would. I see others living out my dreams while I sit back and watch with a smile on my face, but a deep hurt in my heart, selfishly wanting what I don't have. I spend a lot of time praying about this and I know God hears my cries.

I'm going to share a poem with you that I'm pretty sure I've posted before. I read it several times today, and find that it provides encouragement. I also need a reminder that GOD makes my plans, not me.

Maybe you're in the midst of waiting on something from God and it can provide some encouragement to you, too.

Wait

Desperately, helplessly,

longingly, I cried:

Quietly, patiently, lovingly,

God replied.

I plead and I wept

for a clue to my fate,

And the Master so gently said,

“Child, you must wait.”

“Wait? You say, wait!”

my indignant reply.

“Lord, I need answers,

I need to know why!

Is Your hand shortened?

Or have You not heart?

By faith, I have asked,

and am claiming Your Word.”

My future and all

to which I can relate

Hangs in the balance,

and YOU tell me to WAIT?

I’m needing a “Yes”,

a go-ahead sign,

Or even a “No”

to which I can resign.

And Lord, You promised

that if we believe

We need but to ask,

and we shall receive.

And Lord, I’ve been asking,

and this is my cry:

“I’m weary of asking!

I need a reply!”

Then quietly, softly,

I learned of my fate

As my Master replied once again,

“You must wait.”

So, I slumped in my chair,

defeated and taught

And grumbled to God,

“So, I’m waiting … for what?”

He seemed, then, to kneel

And His eyes wept with mine,

And He tenderly said,

“I could give you a sign.”

I could shake the heavens,

and darken the sun.

I could raise the dead

and cause mountains to run.

All you seek, I could give,

and pleased you would be.

You would have what you want~

But, you wouldn’t know Me.

You’d not know the depth

of My love for each saint;

You’d not know the power

I give to the faint;

You’d not learn to see

through the clouds of despair;

You’d not learn to trust

just by knowing I’m there;

You’d not know the joy

of resting in Me;

When darkness and silence

were all you could see.

You’d never experience

that fullness of love

As the peace of My Spirit

descends like a dove;

You’d know that I give and save,

for a start,

But you’d not know the depth

of the beat of My heart.

The glow of My comfort

late into the night,

The faith that I give

when you walk without sight,

The depth that’s beyond

getting just what you asked

Of an infinite God,

who makes what you have last.

You’d never know,

should your pain quickly flee,

What it means that,

“My grace is sufficient for thee.”

Yes, your dreams for your loved one

Overnight would come true,

But, Oh, the Loss!

If I lost what I’m doing in you!

So, be silent, My child,

and in time you will see

That the greatest of gifts

is to get to know Me.

And though oft’ may My answers

seem terribly late,

My most precious answer of all

is still, “Wait.”

I want to ask you to pray for me tonight. I'm lonely and my heart is heavy. Thank you, dear friends, and please forgive the cheerlessness of this post.

"I am waiting for the Lord, my soul is waiting for Him, and my hope is in His Word." Psalms 130:5